I heard we made out
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
