This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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