I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize