If i come over, it means nothing
if you like me you must not know who I am
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
