i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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