I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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