Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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