I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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