i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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