I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
