god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
