It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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