just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
