well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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