im drinking this country out of the recession.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
