Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
