She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
