Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
