Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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