I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
