Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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