I just threw up on my dentist
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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