What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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