Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
