I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
