Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
