i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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