Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
