its not stalking. its research.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
