Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
