i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize