i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
