Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
