She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
