Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
