whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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