i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
