So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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