Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
only if we run a train.
done.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
