Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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