Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
