hell yes lets make some ravioli
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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