we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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