i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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