suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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