I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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