Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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