evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
