THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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