I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
