i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
