she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
