You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
