i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
