mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
