I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Alive.
So much puke
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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